What is premature ejaculation?In simple language, premature ejaculation is ejaculation that is premature. It means it occurs before a man wants it, or too quickly during intercourse to satisfy his partner. This, of course, is relative, as what is considered too quick for someone might be completely normal for others.
What is normal?Studies have shown that it is normal for men to have an orgasm and ejaculate within two to three minutes after penetrating the vagina. This is far quicker than what most men expect or wish (especially when measuring themselves against the presumed standards of their peers or what they see in porn films).
There may also be an aspect of expectation on behalf of the man's partner. Studies have suggested that most women climax after 10 to 15 minutes of intercourse. However, the majority of women (some say between 65 to 75%) are unable to reach orgasm by intercourse alone. Moreover, it is estimated that about 10% of women can't reach orgasm at all!
Nevertheless, premature ejaculation exists and is actually a big problem for many men. Indeed, it is the number one sexual complaint among men under 50. Some will ejaculate immediately after erection, right before penetration, or just seconds after it.
What causes premature ejaculation?Most severe premature ejaculations are caused by biological factors - including urinary tract infections, so if this is your complaint, see a doctor.
Other causes include psychological factors, especially anxiety, stress, or guilt. Many premature ejaculation problems go away by themselves, as these underlying psychological factors disappear.
Lastly, drugs such as over the counter cold pills and cigarette smoking have been implicated as causing or contributing to premature ejaculation. If you smoke, consider this as yet another reason to quit (as if the other health dangers are not enough ...) Are there drugs for premature ejaculation? Not officially, although serotonin uptake blockers or serotonin reuptake inhibitors used to treat depression have been used "off-label" to treat men with premature ejaculation. It is important to note that these drugs have not been indicated for this treatment, and therefore their use must only be prescribed by a knowledgeable physician.
So, what can I do to last longer? Plenty. Both cheap (or free) and not
The easiest (and cheapest) things first:
- The stop and start technique
- The breathing technique
- The squeeze technique
- Wear a condom
- Masturbate first
- Different sexual positions
- Desensitizing cream
- Pelvic muscle exercise
- Herbal treatments
- Testicular restraint and penis ring
Stop and start technique This technique simply means to bring yourself to (near) the point of no return, and stopping all stimulation before it's too late. For some men, this includes removal of the penis from the vagina, although for others this may not be necessary.
After the urgent feeling to ejaculate subsides, usually after 30 seconds, then thrusting and intercourse can be resumed. This stop and start technique can be repeated several times.
Communication is the key here. Let your partner know that you are getting close to orgasm and to slow down or temporarily stop.
In addition to intercourse, the stop and start technique can also be practiced with your hand, with or without lubricant.
Remember to breathe... Believe it or not, breathing deeply and relaxing your body during intercourse can help! This works best for premature ejaculation that is caused by anxiety or tension.
Because of its relaxing effect, some men report that drinking one (just one) glass of red wine before lovemaking can help.
For others, distracting oneself by thinking about other things like the office or football can also help to prevent premature ejaculation. Just remember not to think out loud!
The squeeze techniqueThis technique involves gently squeezing the base or end of the penile shaft and stopping sexual stimulation until the urge to ejaculate passes. The squeezing can be done by either the man or his partner, and can be repeated until ejaculation is desired.
Wear a condom One of the most overlooked simple cures of premature ejaculation is to wear a condom. Besides being a good practice against sexually transmitted diseases and as a contraceptive, a condom can help reduce the sensation and thus prolong sex.
Masturbate firstMasturbating first a couple of hours before making love can result in the increased ability to last longer. Unfortunately, this often reduces the man's desire for sex. Different sexual positions Some men reach orgasm and ejaculate faster in the traditional missionary position (man on top). These men may last longer when their partner is on top. Remember, however, that sexual position preference varies very widely.
Changing positions every so often can also help, perhaps by giving the man brief pauses during lovemaking every now and then.
Desensitizing cream Desensitizing cream works by lessening the sensation felt by men during intercourse. Although it lengthens staying power for many men, it comes with a price: most of these men said that the cream also makes sex less pleasurable.
Be sure to tell your partner that you are using desensitizing cream. Unfortunately, the dulling effect can also be transferred and felt by the woman, making it longer for her to reach orgasm (which may be one of the reasons a man feels he's not lasting long enough in the first place!).
Pelvic muscle exercise Would you believe that an exercise usually reserved for incontinent women can help a man prevent premature ejaculation?
In a woman, pregnancy and childbirth are the main cause of the weakening of the pelvic floor muscle. This usually leads to female incontinence. The good news is that a simple pelvic muscle exercise (also called Kegel exercise) can help.
The same pelvic muscle is also involved in the ejaculation process (if you must know, the contraction of the pelvic muscle forces the seminal or ejaculate fluid from the prostate gland). This means that for a man, the same pelvic muscle exercise can help gain control over his premature ejaculation.
The pelvic muscle exercise is simple: "flex" the pelvic muscle as if you are holding back from or stopping urination. Hold the muscle for about three to five seconds, relax for about three seconds, and repeat. With practice, you should be able to work your way up to hold your pelvic muscle for ten seconds and do as many as one hundred contractions per day.
Remember, you can do this discreet exercise at almost anytime and in any place.
Herbal treatmentThere are many herbs for men's sexual health available in the market today. Some of these, such as yohimbe and maca extracts, are basically stimulants and may have unwanted side effects, especially for older men.
A very promising herb is purified Tribulus terrestris extract, available under the brand name Libilov. Taken regularly, Tribulus has been proven by many scientific medical studies to help men overcome premature ejaculation without side effects. Moreover, the herb helps boost sex drive, increases stamina and control, and even improves sensation. Visit Libilov for Men for more information.
Testicular restraintGently restraining the testicles from moving during intercourse can help some men from ejaculating prematurely. Although some found it uncomfortable or too much hassle, testicular restraint is generally safe. It can be purchased discreetly through erotic mail-order companies.
Taking cues from the squeeze technique and a vacuum device for impotence, an erotic device called a penis ring or band works to prevent premature ejaculation in some (adventurous) men. Here, a stretchy rubber ring on the base of the penis does the squeezing. Some men, however, feel slight discomfort during intercourse when wearing this ring. Premature ejaculation can be treated The tips above have been reported to help about 95% of men to prolong their lovemaking. Remember to be sure to contact your health provider if you feel that you have a severe premature ejaculation problem.