‘I’m Happily Married But My Ex-Girlfriend Is Pregnant With My Baby’


Hello Love and Life,

My name is Tunde. I’ve been married for two years now to my wife whom I met during my service year. She has been loving and very supportive.

It all started when my then girlfriend dumped me for another man. I was so hurt and my wife, who was a colleague at my place of primary assignment at that time, was very supportive. We became quite close and eventually married.

Now, I went to check out a building site with my colleagues and it happened that our client’s personal assistant is my ex who hurt me years ago. We tried to be matured, said hi and went about our business.

Days later, she invited me for lunch and I accepted. She explained to me that she still loves me and only left me because I was not ready to settle down. She told me she later found out the man she left me for was married and had three kids already. She cried and said she was too ashamed to beg for my forgiveness.

Immediately, I felt a rush of passion run through my veins. To summarise my story, we have been having sex since that day. She recently called me to inform me that she is carrying my baby.

I’m so devastated right now, I thought we were just going to keep having sex until we both break it off but now there’s a baby.

She has refused to abort and has insisted on seeing my family to inform them. This will shatter my home and break my wife’s heart.

She doesn’t deserve this, please what can I do?


Dear Tunde,
All I can say at this moment is Wow! This explanation of yours is absolutely ridiculous. I’m still at a loss as to why you would cheat on your wife whom, according to you, has been very supportive during your thick and thin period.
No one is saying that you should not honour the lunch invite of your ex-girlfriend; it would have portrayed immaturity on your part if you did not attend the lunch. But being a married man, you were expected to keep your emotions in check. There was simply no need for you to reignite a scenario that was long in the past, since you are supposed to have moved on.
My frank advice to you is that you should sit your wife down and calmly explain the whole situation in details to her, and after that offer a sincere apology to her. Tell her about this said ex-girlfriend of yours and the threat she opportunistically poses to your marriage.
Obviously, you do not expect her to suddenly applaud you for courage to deliver such a devastating news to her. You must expect some very adverse reaction(s) from her, but you must be very sensitive to her feelings and responsibly calm her down. You may also need to inform and plead with your parents-in-law, as well as your parents to intercede on your behalf if she gets all loose, which is not her fault.
Hopefully, this will go a long way to settle this bizarre issue. Once you both have reconciled, you must jointly then determine what you want to do concerning the unborn child your ex-girlfriend claims its yours. Please, do not enforce that you would want custody of the child without your wife’s consent. That will just degenerate an already tense situation. You must handle this situation with a huge sense of sensitivity to your wife’s feelings.


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