My name is Ronke, I work with a media organization and not doing bad for myself as a young single lady. I have a few guys that flock around me but I still find a way to run back into the arms of my ex when i’m really down.
My ex-boyfriend, Shina and I broke up two years ago when I got a job to go out of town, he wasn’t so cool with the idea of staying away from each other.
Now my problem is my ex is married with a child even though he claims the lady is just his ‘baby mama’. I wasn’t going to marry him anyway so it was ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’ or so I thought until I ran into him in an event last year. We started off as friends, shared old memories and sometime hung out. I’m getting too attached to my ex and its a course to worry about, I discuss my work, family and even suitors with him.
My friends think I’ll be his second wife and that’s the last thing I want for myself. Please how do I detach myself from my ex I need help.
Thankfully, you decided to speak out and seek advice before your situation becomes that of déjà vu. One recurrent thing that reoccurred severally in your description of Shina was: “My Ex.” Since you have realized that, why not just allow sleeping dogs lie?
I am not saying that you should not have conversations with him. Far from that! But there should be a definite limit on what happens such as the frequency of meet-ups/hangouts and phone/online conversations, the nature of conversations, and all forms of non-verbal communications (signs, gestures, touches & proximity).
Since Shina is married and you do not want to either be linked to or have an amorous affair with him, then you must reduce the time you come into contact with him, both in person and through communication gadgets. Also, the easiest and best way for you to detach yourself from him is when you inform him of the need to reduce the level of contact with you.
I am sure your ex-boyfriend is not the only male friend you can confide in. Mingle with your other male friends and interact with them in the most civil way possible.
I am very sure that you would not want your own marriage to be broken by an intruder. Therefore, endeavour to take this advice to heart and begin to implement it as soon as possible before stories that touch, which you may not be able to control and bear, come to your corner.
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