‘I Married A Party Animal’

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Hi Love and Life. I’ve been married for three years to my beautiful wife. Life has been fair on us as we live in our own duplex in a high brow area of Lagos and drive posh cars. My wife and I have been best of friends even though we had a short courtship. She’s everything I dreamed of in a woman but she has one very annoying problem. She can’t stop going to parties. She doesn’t just go to the parties, she can sell her eye to buy the aso ebi and shoes to match. Just last week, she bought one for N50,000 and N47,000 shoes. I wouldn’t have been this mad if she went to parties only rarely. This is the third party she’s attending this month and she spends at least N70,000 on wears alone. Her party life is so irritating. And to worsen it all, she comes home late. The last time I had fed our kid and sang her to sleep before she crept in. I would have spoken to her mother about this but she’s a party animal as well. Please what can I do?   Hello Anonymous Writer, I understand you are trying to be overprotective of your wife and you are also wary of money expended on the purchase of her various items, but I think you will need to be very extremely careful when handling such a sensitive issue. The best way for you to resolve this issue is not for you to report your wife to her fellow party-freak mother but for you both to sit down and have a proper civil discussion. One thing I must tell you is that it is good to have a socially-active lady as a wife rather than an introvert as her dynamics help to maintain a balanced tone at home. However, You MUST draw a line between her fun time out and home activities. You must impress on her that excessive outings is having a negative effect on the family, as the kids do not get to see their mother regularly again. That in itself is poor parenting on her part, especially for mother-child bonding. Let her also know that the purchase of exquisite clothing for parties is also having an adverse impact on the family’s financial resources, especially in a period where the country’s economy is not smiling to majority of Nigerians. Make her understand that irrespective of her comfortable income from her job, there is the need to make savings for the raining day. This is because nothing lasts forever. Then, you both must agree, I repeat with EMPHASIS: “agree”, that she should try to resist the number of parties she goes for in a month and also abide by a curfew time by which she must be home. The choice of how many times she should go for outings depends on you both but I would strongly advise that your wife’s curfew time should be 10pm. Through this, she would be able to have more time to spend with the family, especially the kids, also carry out more house tasks and save lots of money, which could be rechannelled for other useful purposes. Just give this a trial. I am sure it would work magic. But like I earlier said, please let the conversation be civil. Do not fight or force your opinion on her. A rancorous discussion would not help matters at all. GCN Need Love & Life Guru’s advice? Send your mails to loveandlifeguru01@gmail.com and help is sure to come your way.
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