My Fiance Lied To Me: He’s Married With Three Kids


I am a 22years old undergraduate of UNIBEN, I have been in a relationship for two years, without knowing I was dating a monster. My fiance James is 48years old, although he told me he was 30 years. He looks nothing like his age at all and that was why he was able to lie to me for the past two years.

James happens to be a married man with three teenage daughters, and I never knew about this till two weeks to our wedding. I confronted him with evidence after I found out from a source close to his family and he confirmed it was true.

Everybody including my family has been asking me to call off the wedding and move on, unknowing to them that I am 2 months pregnant for him. I am so frustrated and confused right now, I don’t know what to do. Please advise me.


Hello Anonymous Writer,

Your situation is very dire, almost similar to when the horse’s neck gets stuck in the ocean drinking water and suddenly refuses to rise up again. While it is always good to fall in love, I always advise people to run background checks on their partners because he or she will never inform you of their gory history. It was your duty to have dug up long ago and found this incriminating information before getting to this stage where it seems like a point of no return.

However, with every challenge, there is always a solution and that is why Love and Life was conceived. It is quite tricky, especially with the pregnancy situation, but I think it would be best for you to heed the advice of your family relatives; cancel the marriage, BUT on one condition. Try and investigate if your controversial fiancée still relates closely with his wife and kids.

My reason for this is that some men may decide to leave their current partners and the family if they are tired of their marriage and they would not want their new partners to know about their past in order to avoid unnecessary preying from their previous partners. That I have seen on some occasions and it’s a cowardly stuff to do, in all honesty.

So, your James, even though he has been a serial liar up to the aspect of age, might truly love you but did not want to showcase his past to you. Establish if he still has a strong nexus to the family. If he does, cancel the marriage and prepare to bear and cater for your unborn child alone. If reverse is the case, you can still go on with the marriage but extract a commitment from him that he would be loving and take absolute care of you and the unborn child. The commitment should preferably be documented and drafted by a lawyer so that all legal aspects can be covered.

I advise that you do that because he could also dump you when he feels he is tired of the marriage for another gullible young lady and also put her in the family way.


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