Home / Love & Life / ‘After Losing My Virginity To Him, My Pastor Says I Can’t Marry Him’

‘After Losing My Virginity To Him, My Pastor Says I Can’t Marry Him’


Hello Live and Life,

I’m really hurt right now. I’m in my late 20s and kept my virginity till recently. I decided to lose it to my boyfriend, whom I dated for about four years.

We seemed destined to spend the rest of our lives together. I was too sure we would end up together so the day he had sex with me when I visited him, I didn’t feel bad cos I felt he was my husband anyways.

Everything, however, turned sour after I took him to see my pastor. After praying, I noticed she was acting weird and when I asked her what the matter was, she said she only felt tired and suggested she needed some time off.

She called me later that day and said my boyfriend is not my God-ordained husband. She said he was from the spirit world and was in my life to ruin it. What shocked me the most is when she asked if I had not had sex with him because that is one of his missions in my life.

I was shocked. I’ve been feeling down since then. I really love him and won’t want to lose him. What can I do? This pastor has always been there for me.

Hello Anonymous Writer,

It is quite understandable that you are really pained and confused about the sudden development in your relationship. However, you must ensure you do not becloud your sense of judgement for an important matter such as marriage just because of emotions.

Your scenario refers me back to a matter of similar nature. There was this neighbour of mine who, after he returned to the country from his educational, got a girl pregnant and decided to marry her. The parents of the boy sought spiritual intervention and it was revealed to them that the lady was the wrong wife for him. However, the guy insisted on having his way and he married the girl.

Fast forward to about three years after the wedding, there were little problems, as expected, in the marriage but the guy continued. After all, the lady bore him a handsome boy and was pregnant for the second time. However, on a faithful day, we heard the news that the guy slept and did not wake up the following morning while he was abroad. His death caused great grief to his family, especially his parents who lamented that they had been warned not to allow their son get married to the lady. After the funeral, the lady carried her sons and some of her late husband’s properties and left his house and till today, she is yet to communicate with her in-laws.

So, if the pastor, as you have said, has been your long-time spiritual counsellor and confidant, then I think you should take her words seriously. She might be privy to some information revealed to her as a result of her calling that you do not know about. Whether she guessed or not, for her to have emphatically confronted you on the period you had sex with your boyfriend means there is something she knows that you do not know.

Yes, you are gutted with your pastor’s revelation as you lost your virginity to the person you thought might have been your future husband. But let reason take precedence over emotions in this situation so that you do not end up regretting your choice of action.



Need Love & Life Guru’s advice? Send your mails to loveandlifeguru01@gmail.com and help is sure to come your way. 

About Gabriel Ntoka

Check Also

‘My Husband Resigned From Well-paying Job Over His Female Boss’ Advances’

Dear counsellor, I do not understand why my husband would resign from a company that …

‘I Got Pregnant For My Ex, Now My Fiancee Is Coming Back To Nigeria’

Hello Live and Life, I have been engaged to my man for two years. He …

Leave a Reply

WhatsApp Newsbreak