Help! I’m Not Sure Who I Lost My Virginity To

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Hello love and life.

I’m 19 years old. I went for a friend’s birthday party last weekend and I realized I lost my virginity. I got home and found blood in my undies. I really do not remember how it happened because I had so much to drink. 

I remember having a drink with my friends and that’s the last thing I remember. The next day, I woke up on the couch in my friend’s sitting room. A couple of friends had also been asleep in the same sitting room as we all had so much to drink. 

This feeling hurts me so much. Please help me.

Hello Anyonymous Writer,

Well, have you ever heard the maxim: “Don’t over indulge in everything”? Certainly, you ran foul of this golden advice and got yourself in your present situation.

There is nothing wrong with having a few bottles or shots of alcohol. It only becomes a problem when you drink beyond the capacity your body can accumulate.

With regards to knowing the identity of the person who defiled you, it’s going to be very difficult to ascertain, in all honesty. The best advice I would have preferred was for you to make a report to the police. However, certain situations will make such investigation near-impossible to identify the person.

First of all, you are only reporting the defilement ONE WEEK after it happened. That’s quite a long time. Also, you were tipsy, meaning you were not sure of the persons with you in the room. Even if you knew the persons, you cannot accurately pinpoint a particular person as the perpetrator. All you can do is suspect. It could also be possible that the sex criminal was possibly an outsider who came into the room, saw you had passed out and decided to take advantage.

So, it will be very difficult to determine such person. My advice is that you meet your friend who hosted the party and challenge her with your allegation. I still advice that you report the incident to the police.

It will be good if you can start jotting down the names of those you can recall were at the event. Also ask your friend to provide (as much as possible) a comprehensive list of all those who were at the party to aid possible police investigation. Also, keep the soiled undies, as it could become crucial during investigation.

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