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‘I Discovered My Husband’s Secret Children Via His Mail Inbox’

Dear counsellor,

I have been married for 15 years now with two boys and girls.

Mofe is a type of husband any woman will pray to have. He is very loving and caring.

He works very hard to take care of me and our children. Five years ago, he told me to resign my job because of stress, and he sold his land in Ibadan to set me up in business.

Last week, I needed to urgently send an invoice to a customer via mail. Yahoo was not opening, so I begged my husband to use his Gmail.

He gave me details of his account. Immediately I logged in, the first inbox I saw was a message with “Daddy” as the subject.

After further investigation,  I found out that they are his biological children.

Then I checked and saw that he had been exchanging messages with two boys he had with another woman. One is 19, the other is 17.

I also realised that he doesn’t communicate with them via text messages or call them.

I have not confronted him but it, but I’m heart-rendered, crestfallen and betrayed.

What do I do?

Hello Anonymous Writer,

Well, this is quite a complicated situation and I am so sorry that you had to find out about this the way you did.

Some persons may tell you “don’t confront him, after all your husband’s support for his ‘away children” does not affect your home”. But as a committed wife who is also protecting the interests of her children, you have to do what you have to do  Yes, it is given that you obtained the information albeit illegally, but you have to ask Mofe about it.

First of all, it seems your husband never told you about it and it, therefore, implies there are trust issues. If you both have been married for 15 years and he has refused to disclose this sensitive information to you, then there is a problem. You need to find out from him why he has concealed such details from you for years. The excuse of “I don”t want to upset you or our home” is not tenable here because a husband hiding such an implicit secret from his wife of two decades is tantamount to destroying the marriage.

Secondly, it is important you ask him about this in order to know if your children (if you have) are in his plans for the future. There have been stories of various late celebrities whom after their passage see some persons claim to be their children. This has caused rancour in a lot of families and you would do well by avoiding such controversy beforehand if you conduct your due diligence now. No one is praying for anything untoward to happen to your hubby but you have to make sure that you secure your children’s interests now before it becomes too late.



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About Gabriel Ntoka

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