I hold a management position in my place of work. I have three trainees attached to me and I ensure they work well under minimal pressure because I understand the challenges since I came in via the same programme.
Now, there is only one female among them and I must admit that I pamper her a lot. She became close to me since I drop her off at home as she lives close to me.
She’s a really nice lady. However, something happened last weekend. She called me on Saturday saying she was writing out her assignment and had some problems. She asked if she could come over to my place so we look at it together. I agreed and she came over. She stayed with me till evening and one thing led to other and we kissed.
I think I’m in love with this girl. She felt so safe and soft in my arms. But I’ve been thinking I may have started something I can’t cope with. Since that day, we’ve been making out steadily, even in the office.
Please is this right? If not, how can I stop this thing, I seem to lose all control whenever she kisses me.
Hello Anonymous Writer,
Hmmm! This is quite a powerful romantic story, but it seems you might delve into a dangerous tide if you are not very careful.
Office romantic relationships is one matter that has remained problematic in the world. Even those we consider the high and mighty in the corporate world or in politics across the world have fallen from grace to grass just because they maintained an intimate relationship with their subordinates. Majority of these people have been pushed out of the door because they violated their workplace’s regulations or code of conduct regarding having an affair with colleagues.
And this, my anonymous writer, brings me to your case. You stated that you are in the management position cadre, which most likely means that you are an employee at your workplace and not the sole owner or major investor in the company. Having established that, does your workplace have an established code of conduct which speaks on office relationships? If it has, does the regulations forbid an intimate relationship between a manager and his or her subordinate? This line of questioning is very important because, just as I said earlier, a lot of chief executives, senior managers and politicians have lost their jobs and had their profiles diminished because they contravened their companies’ policy on this subject matter.
Therefore, if your workplace has such policy, then you need to stop this brass infringement immediately. Your continued breach of such regulation will only put both yourself and the trainee at risk of being dismissed from your place of work. And we do not need to amplify who would be gravely affected in the event of a dismissal – you of course. The lady is only a trainee and can find her feet elsewhere, but you – a senior management person – will find it a bit harder to secure a new job, especially if the reason of your dismissal is found out.
Also, majority of human resources experts posit that maintaining a relationship with a subordinate could affect the sense of judgment of the senior manager. This is because the senior employee would not want anything untoward to happen to the office partner, knowing that such person could use the relationship as blackmail to get certain favours. From your narration, this scenario is clearly happening as you said you are pampering her a lot and supposedly helping her evade certain responsibilities. You are allowing your emotions get over your competencies and this is gravely irresponsible. Consider what her fellow trainees as well as other full-time employees will be saying about you. Also consider that during one of your numerous hidden “make outs” in the office, you are now caught by your superior. What will be your defence?
Sir, my advice to you is quite simple: STOP the relationship if you still value your job, your dignity and want to continue to be an employee in that place of work. However, if you feel so tantalised and enticed that you want to continue the relationship, you have two options: either you leave your workplace so that she can remain there and you have unrestricted access to yourself OR you wait for her to conclude her training and wait for her to exit the company – if she is not retained- in order for you both to blossom the relationship.
The cards have been laid on the table. It’s for you to now choose wisely.
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