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Ojeifo

I Suffered PTSD, Bipolar Disorder After Rape, Sexual Assault – Woman

A mental health professional, Hauwa Ojeifo, has revealed that she suffered Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder and mild psychosis after she was raped twice and sexually assaulted multiple times.

Ojeifo, who is founder of SheWritesWoman, said in a tweet that she had attempted suicides before being placed on antidepressants and mood stabilizers.

“In 2015, I was diagnosed with #bipolar and #ptsd with mild #psychosis. I had had my first near suicide attempt. I was placed on #antidepressants and mood stabilizers. The antidepressants help lift me up and the mood stabilizers hold me back so I don’t get too high,” she wrote.

“I went through the side effects – gained about 20kg in 4 months, was sleeping or drowsy most of the time, the hunger, etc. But I also felt for the first time what it meant for my head to be quiet. The voices stopped. Is this what you people had been enjoying all along?

“I waited it all out with minor tweaks in my medications. I stayed dedicated and I did more than take meds. I audited my entire life. All the choices and experiences that had shaped me – getting raped twice, being sexually assaulted multiple times and more.

“You see, when you’ve been raped and live with the #trauma, it takes something away from you. You never go back. It’s like being stuck in a loop; a part of you relieving it daily. For me, my memory had holes in it and I could no longer trust my choices.

“It also meant that sometimes I couldn’t tell where the #bipolar stopped and where my ‘real self’ began. What part was the #ptsd and what part was the #bipolar? When your mind is compromised, even you can no longer trust your inner dialogue. I began to review all my life choices.

“I audited my eating, movement, social circles, the movies I watched, the music I listened to, the conversations I had. Nothing was off limits. When you’ve been where I’ve been, you’ll understand the power of whatever gets in.

“So 18 months into my diagnosis and medications, I did a series of alternative therapy that I believe had the most profound effects on me. I also studied and got cerified in them, hence becoming a mental health coach and starting my practice.

“I soon stopped my medications and had zero symptoms. Life was good. My emotional mastery was top notch. My clients were having great successes (still are). I knew that being mentally healthy was a result of my daily choices and I never took that for granted…I think.”

Ojeifo said the symptoms had returned in 2019 after two years of feeling okay.

“Then in March of 2019, after 2 years of no symptoms, I started feeling it. I knew it was coming. The darkness. I started postponing work engagements and was “putting my affairs in order”. As if I knew. April…May…Ramadhan. I fasted for the first time since getting diagnosed.

“And then right after Itiqaf (the 10-day optional seclusion in the Mosque at the end of Ramadhan), I knew it was here. I was sinking and even I couldn’t take my own advice. The voices were at their loudest,” she said.

About Ademola Aderele

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