I had been married for fifteen years with my wife and we have five children. Initially when we met and started courting, I put her the family way just a month into our courtship and after four months we got married. I was working in the oil and gas industry successfully while she was a banker.
Midlife crisis started where due to the recession era; I lost my job and she, five months after in 2015, also lost hers. It was a difficult period where even feeding the children was a challenge.
I thus gathered funds to travel to America for greener pastures while she held forth back home with the children. Initially, during the years, my wife would find succour with maintaining close relationships with members of the opposite sex. This almost even at a time led to her almost being raped.
Cut story short she was involved with prophets and spiritualists whom repeatedly told her I was the cause of her misfortune in life. I recently got a job as a sales manager in Ilorin and usually come to Lagos weekends to check on my family. I came home one weekend to discover she had packed from our rented apartment with my children to an unknown destination. I heard her make companion financed the new apartment. She has denied me access to all my children saying on the phone that they were hers. This has been over one year now I have seen my children .in the interest of peace I have not reported her to the police. Family members she listens to support her move.
What do I do?
Let me, first of all, commiserate with you over the complicated situation you have found yourself in. Marriage is expected to be for better, for worse, and both partners are expected to share both joys and griefs together.
It is also unfortunate when the children are dragged into messy situations like this. Children are meant to be protected and not made as involuntary victims of such a crisis, which might force them to selectively choose between their father and mother.
You mentioned that you travelled to the USA and that your wife found “succour” with members of the opposite sex. Did you really know back then that she was involved in extra-marital affairs? And if you knew, did you try to tackle such issue by reporting to her parents and even yours to intervene in the matter? I fear that was where your problem started from. Women naturally are fragile and are not extremely disposed to long-term relationships. I do not know how frequently you communicated with her while you were in the States, but I guess there was a huge gap in communication for such to have happened.
Unfortunately, you do not have access to your children in which you both brought forth to the world together. In as much as you want peace, you also have to make a move as her family is hampering you before the issue deteriorates and your children do not know who their father is again.
I recommend that you report the case to the Office of the Public Defender (OPD). It is a Lagos State arbitration agency whose head office is situated in Surulere, and they deal with issues such as yours. I enjoin you to visit their website to read more about their functions and also speak with a representative so that you can lodge your petition and request for their professional help.
Need Love & Life Guru’s advice? Send your mails to firstname.lastname@example.org and help is sure to come your way