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‘My Boyfriend Becomes Totally Different When I’m Menstruating’

Good day love and life,

I have issues with my boyfriend. He never comes close to me when I’m having my period.

Whenever he knows I’m on my period, he avoids seeing me. Every time I ask him to visit or I come over, he finds an excuse.

The other day I visited him, I tried cosying up to him and he totally rebuffed. Please this issue is serious as I feel unwanted when I’m having my period. He won’t even allow me to cook his food and if I do, he doesn’t eat it.

He is usually loving when I’m off but immediately I’m on, he becomes a totally different person.

Please what can I do? I plan to marry him in future.

Hello Anonymous Writer,

It’s understandable that you are unhappy your boyfriend stays away from you when you are menstruating. You have every reason to criticise him.

But in playing the devil’s advocate here, he might be avoiding you during your period for two reasons.

First, some men are irritated when they see their women bleeding or in pains during their menstrual period. It turns them off because, for them, the entire process is scary. Yet, this is a period where the women will need their loving men to comfort them and help them do one or two things to alleviate their pains and feel better. So, it is a complicated puzzle for both parties involved.

The other reason is that he may be afraid that you will get pregnant during that period. Scientific research has shown that women are likely to get pregnant in the middle of their menstrual cycle, particularly during the ovulation period. So, if your boyfriend is the one that abstains from sex or you guys just get under the duvet for “aggressive cuddling” and nothing more, then there is the likelihood that he does not want to impregnate you.

So, it’s two things: either he feels disgusted when he sees you in your period or he does not want to get you pregnant. But you have to find out why he avoids you deliberately during this period.

I advise that you have a friendly chat with him on one of your off period days and when he is in a good mood. Ask him for his reason and then explain to him that menstruating for women is a normal process. Impress on him that you both can be safe from unplanned pregnancy during that period and he should even be around to help you to be more comfortable during such a period, which is extremely difficult for women.



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About Gabriel Ntoka

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