My name is Jennifer. I met this dashing young man early June at a friend’s birthday party. He is handsome and above all, rich.
After we spoke, I agreed to a date and it has been magic since then. He was so gentle and never demanded sex for the first weeks of our relationship. I even spent weekends at his place and he never touched me.
How I wished he never did, the day he did, he tied my hands and legs to the bed while he pounded me forcefully. I thought I was going to die. Although he apologized afterwards, he has not changed.
The second time, I tried to play with him by mounting him but he pushed me away, slapped me and held me down until he had tied my legs to his bed. Again, we had sex with some fearful intensity.
I’ve since stopped visiting him but he keeps coming to beg me. I really love him and would want to continue with him but I’m confused. What can I do please?
From your narration above, you gave your boyfriend the opportunity to “sample” you and experiment, or will I say foster, his preferred sex style upon you. You should not have spent those weekends in his place as “familiarity breeds contempt”, according to the popular saying.
Now, I do not know if you’ve heard of the sex style: masochism, better known by its acronym BDSM. It is the tendency to derive sexual gratification from one’s own pain or humiliation. That is, obviously, the preferred style of your boyfriend.
Now, you said you’ve stopped visiting him but you still want to date him. Hope you are not contradicting yourself on this. And if you want to remain with him, the first thing you must consider is: am I willing to have sex with him using the BDSM style?
It’s a decision that must be critically assessed and not just made out of emotions. If you feel you can cope with your boyfriend’s sex style, then run into his arms. However, if you feel you cannot do so, then leave him immediately rather than claiming that you want to remain with him for love.
And if you think you can convince him to change his sex style, then you are, as it is said in local parlance, a learner.
So, better think well, dear lady!
Need Love & Life Guru’s advice? Send your mails to email@example.com and help is sure to come your way.