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‘My Girlfriend Wants Us To Sign Undertaking Before Loaning Me Money’

Hello counsellor,

I have a burning issue which is threatening to tear my relationship apart.

I am a businessman, I import tyres with the help of my brother outside the country. My goods have been stuck in the ports because of this lockdown. Now that I finally got someone to assist me in getting it out, my girlfriend hs refused to borrow me money.

Initially, I had the full money needed, about N850,000 but during the lockdown, I had to renew my house rent and also feed myself for two full months without earning a kobo.

I asked her for N350,000 loan but she has insisted we must sign an undertaking prepared by her lawyer.

See, I’m confused. My woman of two years can’t help me when I need her. I’m heartbroken. As we speak, the goods are still in the ports, I don’t know what may become of them.

Please what can I do, if I eventually get my load out, I’ll ensure I end this relationship, it doesn’t make sense.


Hello anonymous writer,

In all honesty, I do not think the demand by your girlfriend signifies that she does not love you or is a threat to your budding relationship. Yes, you both are five and six right now but she is also thinking from a pure business standpoint.

The sum of N350,000 is a huge sum of money to borrow, especially in this period where financial inflow for businesses has been at its lowest ebb due to the COVID-19 and the subsequent lockdown. You cannot insist that because the lady in question is your girlfriend, then you can act however you deem fit when it comes to financial decisions. After all, you both are – technically speaking – just acquaintances in the romance sphere. You also did not specified if you have been funding her own business with your money, of which I could have raised an eyebrow in protest.

But with no clarification on the above, it is within her right as a lender to demand that you provide her with a legal guarantee before you get the money. If you were to visit the bank to make such a request, you will definitely provide such guarantee even under stricter terms. Therefore, you should be hesitant to do such under what I would describe as liberal terms as demanded by your girlfriend.

She is also making the demand to protect her future and her business. The old adage warns us to never mix business with pleasure. So, if things suddenly turn sour between you both tomorrow and then she makes her rightful demand for a refund, you may then deny knowledge about such transaction or claim the money was non-refundable. Peradventure, such a disastrous situation occurs, she would have lost her funds due to being trapped in love instead of being logical and strategic.

So, your girlfriend is smart as she is thinking with her head and not her heart, knowing that relationships can be a flip flop. I have no doubt that she truly loves you but certainly wants the lending process to go the right way in order to avoid stories that touch. Instead of threatening to end your relationship, I will advise that you sign the agreement right now and save your goods at the port.



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