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‘My Husband Eats Like A Glutton At Parties’

Hello counsellor,

My husband has been embarrassing me for years. Each time we go out to gatherings where food will be served, I get worried.

A church member of ours recently put to bed and due to the lockdown, our pastor chose my husband and I to represent the church at the small gathering. We were given food packs after the christening and my husband immediately opened his and ate it right there. He even asked for more.

When he was told there was amala on the way, he made us wait for them to finish it and he had a taste of it. This thing is becoming irritating.

There was a wedding party we both attended last year, my husband ate and ate until he spilled stew all over his white attire. Luckily, we drove there so he didn’t have to walk on the street with a dirty cloth.

And bad enough, he doesn’t eat as much as home.

I’ve spoken to him, I’ve talked to our Pastor, I’m confused. I don’t know what else to do.

Please help me.


Hello anonymous writer,

This is a weird, yet legitimate complaint against your husband. It feels weird because it is not either about extramarital affairs or impotence issue, but food. But I am sure not lost of the fact that his over-eating causes a stir and shines unnecessary public light on your family at outings.

However, one issue that caught my attention is that you said your husband eats like a glutton outside but hardly eats at home. I think this should, first of all, trigger a frank and civil conversation between both of you. You need to ask him if he dislikes eating your cooked meals, because this seems to be the case. It is still unfathomable for a married man to crave for meals outside but hardly taste his wife’s meal at home.

So, have that conversation with him and whatever response he gives, follow up with a sensible, uncontroversial line of questioning and inquiry in order to get a solution.

With regards to his eating habits, I think this also requires a conversation between you both – with you encouraging him to cut down the size of his meals for both health and self-esteem reasons.

Alternatively, you should accompany him to visit a doctor – who will evaluate his medical state, run tests and be able to state why your husband eats in such a gigantic quantity (due to metabolism and other issues). He should then prescribe a meal menu and some drugs to help his situation.

You should also help your husband to keep a date with either a nutritionist or dietician to help adjust his meal timetable.



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