Dear Love and Life,
I feel really bad right now. I married this man two years ago thinking he was a reasonable person only to find out he’s the worst thing ever to be born by a woman.
When we met at a friend’s wedding, he was sweet and charming. He drove me all the way from the reception in Ajah to my house in Yaba. I fell for him instantly.
Each time we went on dates, I would ask him what he did for a living and he would say his father left him a business empire in real estate. He told me he owned three houses in Lekki and one in Abuja. He said the rents from the properties were enough to sustain him.
After our marriage, I noticed he kept late nights and some days, he wouldn’t even come home at all. My complaints attracted beatings and all sorts of sexual abuse.
The day I would find out his true line of business, he left his second phone on the bedroom table when he left for work. After it had rang for three times, the caller sent a message which I read. Turned out my husband is a toy boy for rich women in Lekki. They pay him in hard currency due to his “expertise in bed” and “professionalism”.
I was dazed. When I confronted him when he returned home, he beat me and forced his fist inside my vagina. To worsen it all, he has moved out for over a month now.
Please I’m confused.
Dear Anonymous Writer,
First of all, commiserations over your husband’s attitude in the past few months. I know it is not easy for you trying to cope with the situation.
Regarding your husband, I think you made a mistake during your courtship. You should have insisted on knowing his occupation. You should not have relied on hearsay, you should have demanded on seeing the so-called estates he claimed to be managing. It is always important for individuals to know what their spouses are up to for familarisation and security sake.
Now that you have worn your leg in this permanent trouser of life, there is no withdrawal. So, since your husband does not listen to you, my advice is that you contact either his parents or siblings and inform them of what’s happening. Yep, I know it is weird for third parties to be involved but in this case, that is the most suitable solution. Explain everything to his family so that they can have a full glare of the situation and plead with them to talk to him on your behalf. He will definitely be unhappy with you for taking the matter to “outsiders”, but hopefully he will be able to turn a new leaf from the admonition he shall get from his folks.
But if he refuses to change after the talking to, then you can decide to take the drastic action by leaving his home in order to maintain your sanity.
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