Hello Love and Life.
My Name is Tina and troubled now. I have been married for a year and the half and my husband has been cheating on me, but I do forgive him.
I got angry one day and decided to flirt online. So opened an Instagram account, I met a guy online and we started chatting.
It got to a point that we got so close and started exchanging nude pictures and was planning for a hook up, not until my husband came across our chats.
After finding out about by flirtation with the man, my husband began to threaten me. I had to beg my life out because he threatened to throw me out and send the pictures to my family .
After much begging, he finally gave me conditions. He said I will wash his car every morning before 5am. I will put on the generator once it is 7pm and there is no light.
I will take over the responsibilities of providing and paying bills for six months without asking his for one kobo. And no sex between us too.
Now, the problem is that I can’t do these things and he meant them.
Do you think I should allow him show my family the photo? He cheated too and I did not humiliate him like this.
What can I do ?
From your narration above, I think you put yourself in the tight corner that you are in currently. When you noticed your husband was cheating, why did you not challenge him immediately? While forgiveness is a humbling virtue -as you did for your husband, you should have just left him off the hook.
And then, instead of being the bigger person, you then also decided to replicate your husband’s action. Unfortunately, you have been caught with circumstantial evidence and it seems you cannot wriggle your way out of this. As the population saying goes, you cannot have your cake and eat it.
Since you claim you cannot cope with what I consider as “outrageous” demands of your husband, my advice is that you simply inform your family now. Tell them all that has happened regarding your flirtation, explain your husband’s “away game” situation and also and request that they come to intervene in the matter.
Yep, there will be the element of shame but to save yourself of doing chores that you cannot carry out and getting your nude pictures out, just own up and get matters resolved.