Hello Love and Life,
My name is Funke and my husband is my major problem. In 10 years of marriage, I’ve spent millions to start businesses for him but he keeps ruining every opportunity.
We both got married when we had nothing but by God’s grace and inheritance from my father, we were able to rise above Nigeria’s poverty line. My husband has was dismissed from his previous employment and I felt in order not to damage him further, I should start a business for him.
First, we went into pure water business. I spent millions on setting up a factory and procuring necessary licenses for him. He wasted all the proceeds on a certain lady in the neighbourhood.
Of recent, I gave him some money to set up a phone accessories store in Lagos. However, he has depleted the business within six months. I heard from reliable sources that he was always visiting Allen roundabout in Ikeja every two nights to carry prostitutes to hotels. Probably that was where he wasted the money meant for the business because he was hardly coming back home early.
I’ve talked to his family but he doesn’t listen to anybody. Please how do I solve this problem because I still love him and don’t want a divorce, but he is seriously tempting me with his infidelity. Also, we have three kids who need their father.
Let me, first of all, sympathise with you over your current predicament. It’s not easy to cope with all these challenges as the breadwinner of the family, particularly in the light of the novel Coronavirus currently bring things to a halt in our country.
Regarding the situation on ground, it is
quite unfortunate that your husband’s family seem to be treating this important issue in a non-chalant manner. They should have been his first recourse of help when well-needed to resolve challenges such as this.
Be that as it may, I have two suggestions for you. The first is that you should have a chat with your husband’s close friends and/or confidants. At least, you should those whom he confides in and listens to the most.
Or better still, you can seek the professional guidance or marriage counsellor.
Explain the situation to either his friends or the counsellor and plead with them to talk to your husband to change his ways to ensure the survival of the marriage.
Once either or both of them have talked to your husband and you see some fundamental changes, make one final attempt to fund a business idea of his and monitor its progress.
But if there is no change, my advice is simple- stop providing him with money and just take care of him as a dutiful wife. And if he disturbs you for money, just leave the house gently for him so that you and your children can enjoy peace of mind.