Dear Love and Life,
It has been very difficult for me to remain with my husband since I found out my kid sister aborted a pregnancy for him before we got married.
I am aware she terminated a pregnancy for someone years ago before she moved to Canada.
But both of them hid it from me. The one who called himself my husband neither mentioned it to me during our courtship nor after the wedding, which is now five years old.
My sister only told me about it two weeks ago, after doctors revealed to her that the abortion she had years ago led to a complication that has affected her womb.
I plan on telling my parents about this betrayal from a blood sister, but the worse of it is can I every trust, or believe my husband anymore with this?
He even tried to lie about it when I confronted him. Men are truly bitches! I’m confused counsellor, how do you think I can handle this? Please, I need help fast!
Hello Anonymous Writer,
It is understandable that you feel very hurt by the revelations, as two persons you deem close to you partook in such activities. No one can complain or underestimate the grief that you are going through currently.
But while you are expected to be unhappy, you should also allow yourself to undergo some retrospection rather than act in a rash manner. You need to ask certain questions about the affair between your sister and husband, which will assist in deciding your next cause of action.
You must establish from both parties involved whether their affair occurred either during your courtship or at any time during your marriage. That’s how you can truly know if your husband was cheating on you or not. From your narration, you are not sure if the act happened during courtship or marriage.
So, you must find out that first before levelling allegations against your husband. And your findings will also aid you on how to approach and report the matter to tour parents. Obviously, your parents must be informed about the situation, but the manner in which you relay the information to them can either destroy or help rebuild the family bond, especially that between you and your kid sister.
As for your husband, I strongly advise against divorce as I believe it would have a negative impact on a couple’s children in the future. What I will advice is that you confront your husband with some more facts again such as the one I mentioned previously, observe his conduct and find out if he is truly repentant or not.
If he is repentant, I advise that you remain with him and suggest that you both seek therapy from a marriage counsellor to rebuild trust back in the marriage. But if he still denies his actions, I suggest that you leave the house temporarily in order to purge yourself of the entire harrowing experiences and thoughts and more importantly, give your husband some space. I am sure by the time you leave the house for a while, he will realise his mistake, search for and return to ask for your forgiveness.
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