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‘My Seven-year-old Daughter Caught My Husband Having Sex With Our Neighbour’s Maid’

Dear counsellor,

I have lost so much during this lockdown imposed on Lagos. My business has suffered, all the goods I imported from abroad are stuck in the ports and have not been cleared.

As if this was not enough, my husband has made it worse for me. I was cooking dinner at our home around 5:30pm for the fear of having to do it much later due to the fear of attacks by hoodlums. My seven-year-old daughter was with me, gisting with me as I cooked. Suddenly, our puppy ran out of the house and straight to the back yard. My daughter followed it. After some minutes, I didn’t hear her voice, I decided to go look for her. I found her peeping through the holes of the generator house. As I approached, I found my husband and our neighbour’s maid having sex.

I just stood there watching. I was shocked. This matter generated a lot of embarrassment for me as my neighbour made a huge scene after finding out. The maid is just 17-years-old.

Residents of neighbouring houses had to settle the fight. I’m so embarrassed. I can’t even leave this apartment now.
And it’s so annoying that my husband has been acting as though nothing happened. Please what can I do?


Hello Anonymous Writer,

Let me, first of all, apologise to you over the emotional trauma you and your daughter are currently going through as a result of your husband’s action. It is truly a grim situation.

Your husband’s reaction may not be anything novel. Some men have a cold heart after committing a despicable act, and it seems this is what he has displayed here.

However, as painful as what he has done is, I will not advise you to leave hin now. He and your daughter need you more than ever now. My advice is that you should sit him down and have a civil conversation with him. Strike fear into his heart with powerful words to let him understand the consequence of his actions, particularly his daughter seeing him commit infidelity. Ask him if he would be proud to see his grown-up daughter hop around everyone with a zipper.

Retetriate to him that his action has made your family a laughing stock with the neighbourhood and that his societal respect and influence has taken a big hit. However, make him know that he can still redeem himself by becoming a proper family man by apologising to you and your daughter for his action. Then, implore him to also apologise to the promiscuous maid’s boss for his actions, and lastly the neighbourhood. Yep, it may attract more humiliation but, ultimately, set the path to allow your family to regain respect and prestige in the family.

Make sure you try to get him to have that conversation with you, and do not escalate to either your parents or his. It is important to keep family matters within yourselves.



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About Gabriel Ntoka

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